Darcy's Adventures in Middle Earth
by DizzyIzzyRogers
Summary: A lab accident has Darcy dropping into Middle Earth. Thinking she's in Asgard she goes on a merry adventure looking for Thor and causing trouble along the way. Add Hobbits, Elves and Wizards and Darcy's in for an adventure of a lifetime.
1. Curveballs

_Hello Guys and Dolls, I know i'm still working on Let me be your Sweet Heart. But this particular story came about by fever induced movie binge. I never really read the lord of the ring books and only have experience in the movies so please be kind with me. As always I own nothing at all it belongs to they'er respective owners. I'm just playing with the characters._

Chapter One Curve Balls

Darcy Lewis wondered why life always decided to throw her curve balls. First with the whole running over Thor thing, then with the whole London dark elf thingy attack. Once things settled down she developed a crazy crush on Clint Barton that got her threatened by a really possessive Black Widow. How was Darcy supposed to know they were an item? Had she known she wouldn't have flirted with him. She spent so much of her time with Jane in stark's RND, She knew none of the vital gossip or affirmed couples here in the tower. Most people thought she was a weird tag along of Jane and Thor it made socializing kind of hard. Today's curve ball came int he form of all the Avengers and there other half's being invited to a fancy government ball. Darcy wasn't included she ended up alone in Jane's lab doing reports on Jane's thinggy mijiggers and eating cup noddles. What a way to spend a weekend she thought bitterly. Deciding to call it a night she started to pack up her stuff, tossing her things into her purse haphazardly turning off computers and dodads. Hauling her large patch work purse onto her shoulder Darcy headed towards the door. When a soft clicking and beeping caught her attention, sighing she wheeled around she forgotten to turn off one of the gadgets. she found the right one it was a toaster looking thing with what like little spoons and sliver ping pong balls hanging off of it. Once Darcy's fingers connected with it she felt a sharp pain and buzz.

' Fuck' she thought dully she just electrocuted her self, and as she fell back everything went black.

Darcy felt like her mouth was full of cotton and she opened her eyes slowly. Thank god she wasn't dead, she sat up slowly running her hands over herself. Looks like nothing was wrong or scorched or burned off. All good she thought and began to slowly stand up noticing her purse she picked it up. looking up Darcy's mouth popped opened, she wasn't in Stark's RND anymore. But instead she was on a low hill lush and green, it was quite beautiful, a large tree shading it. were the hell was she?

 _Also i apologize when I first posted this I hit the wrong document , so to those three readers who checked it out and saw two words I'm sorry ( iIm computer stupid).Please review it makes me so happy Love - Dizzy_


	2. Not in Kansas

_Hello guys and dolls, I hope you enjoy this chapter remember I haven't read the books and am basing it off the movies so loosely based , please feel free if i get something horribly wrong to correct me, and I don't own anything._

Chapter Two : Not in Kansas

Sighing Darcy starts to trudge down the hill, she was sure that this was Asgard. The toaster thing she touched just before she was zapped was Jane's rainbow bridge wormhole thing. A way to get Thor home before he just dropped in when the whole Manhattan invasion had started. She was in the countryside so where the hell was Asgards capitol? She didn't even know what it was called, she wished she payed more attention to Thor when he talked of his homeland. But half the time she saw him Jane was stuck to him like a tick. Darcy had reached the bottom of the hill and now as she was looking over the lush green hill and forest country a dirt road was leading through the wood. Kneeling she made sure her red hi top chucks were tightly laced, she cross bodied her bag and headed for the road whistling the tune of little red riding hood from bowling for soup. She should be angry at Jane and her stupid rainbow toaster sending her to the backside of Asgard, but really it was the most exciting thing that had happened to her in a while. And really if Darcy was honest with her self she needed the excerisice she sat on her ass all the time doing lab work. She'd been walking along the road for about twenty minutes when she heard a low whiny of a horse looking behind her she spotted a cart rumbling towards her. A little old man dressed in robes and pointy hat a la harry potter was driving the cart and had four children in it, riding behind the cart on a horse was a man dressed like a mid evil solider. Shaking her head this was Asgard they still dressed in ye old style. The old man stopped the cart in front of her eyeing her oddly, well she was in faded jeans and a loose old Lynard Skynard t shirt that was her fathers topped off with an equally old and faded black hoodie and a red slouchy beanie.

" Mi' lady." he spoke politely his accent was similar to Thor's, she inclined her head politely back

" Hi." she said eyeing him she hadn't yet pegged him yet as friend or foe.

" Were are you headed my dear?" he asked. Now or never time to find out were the hell in Asgard she was.

" The capitol" where ever the hell that may be she added silently however the man just smiled and added

" Which one my dear the Human Capitol?, The Dwarven Capitol? Or the Elfin Capitols?" Shit Darcy thought what the fuck was Thor? He looked human but he could be anything at all well maybe not Dwarven he was way too tall but hell what did she know, she'd check them all if she had too.

" Whichever is closest i'm looking for a friend." She said trying to sound mysterious but knew she was failing.

" Rivendale" he said pointing straight ahead ' just follow the yellow brick road' she thought with a small smile.

" Thank you." She said to the old man turning she started to head down the road staying on the shoulder so she didn't get hit by horses, she was sure there weren't any cars in Asgard. But she didn't get far before the old man in the cart stopped her again.

" It's many miles from here my lady, too far to walk we can give you a ride." He said Darcy raised an eye brow at him

" And if I climb into that cart what are the chances I get out in one piece." Darcy wasn't stupid she watched plenty of criminal minds it didn't matter that Asgard still did things the ye old way, she liked history she knew how dangerous the middle ages were. He looked bewildered at her question and shook his head like she had upset him.

" No harm will come to you lady if you please." He gestured to the cart, he seemed harmless but she was out numbered by six even if four were kids. She stuck her hand in the pocket of her hoodie wrapping her hand around her pepper spray. Smiled politely at the little old man and shook her head no and turned on her heel and kept walking calling over her shoulder.

"No thanks" and so they kept following for the next six and a half hours the old man calling out to her every so often. And she kept on answering him the same way no thank you. Until it started to get dark, and finally Darcy had enough of it she stopped and waited for the old man to pull over.

" Alright i'm getting in. Anything happens and I will bring the pain understand geezer." He gave her an annoyingly bright smile and put out a hand to help her climb in, blowing out a sigh she took it and climbed in. Once settled she noticed the four children staring at her, now looking closer she noticed they were in fact not kids but grown men. And they were looking back at her just as curiously, she had her taser and pepper spray and a small defense bat in her purse she was pretty sure she would be okay although she was uncomfortable. Darcy usually kept her acts of stupidity at a minimum she guessed she hadn't met her quota yet.

" What is your name lass?" One of them asked he looked mid twenty's with very curly hair and an impish smile she immediately felt solidarity with him

" Darcy, yours?"

" I'm pip, this is merry and that's Sam and " He pointed to each in turn Merry also had curly hair and Sam was solid guy he seemed gentle, Frodo she couldn't even see him he was folded into himself. She noticed the man in leathers eyes on her and she smiled at pip

" Who's Mr. Strong and silent." Pip peeked over at him too and off handily said

" Oh that's Strider and that's Gandolf ." Pip nodded towards the geezer driving the cart, who Darcy knew was listening intently he seemed like the nosy type. She defiantly not in Kansas anymore now all she had to do was find todo,she smiled thinking of Thor as a fuzzy black Yorkie

 _I hope you enjoyed this chapter guys and dolls it was really fun to write , Next time Darcy spends more time with the guys. Please review it makes me so very happy love you all - Dizzy_


	3. Into The Woods

Chapter 3 Into The Woods

Darcy enjoyed the bumpy and obnoxiously loud cart ride, Merry ,Pip and Sam were genuinely funny and enjoyable to talk too. Frodo was quite in the corner knees to chest looking at his feet. Darcy guessed he was shy as the sky began to darken , the geezer pulled the cart off the dirt path into a secluded patch of woods. Darcy vaguely wondered if she end up in a medieval version of a horror movie. Digging in to her purse she pulled out the sharpest thing she could find in the dark she really wasn't sure if it was a pencil or a chopstick from last week. Either way she fisted it as the geezer and strong and silent came towards the back of the cart. The back of the cart was open like a tailgate and the hobbits were lifted out and placed down. Darcy still holding her she was pretty sure pencil was about to jump down herself. When two strong hands wrapped around her waist as she shrieked and her knee nearly got the guy in the googles. As soon as strong and silent dropped her to her feet Darcy scrambled away from him.

" Listen dude don't manhandle me unless I give you permission, got it." She snapped at him stomping off into the clearing along with the hobbits and helped pick up firewood still holding onto her pencil. While digging a fire pit with Pip, Darcy got a sense of dejavu , being the youngest of four girls she ended up acting as the boy her father never had. And ended up spending almost all of her childhood hunting fishing and camping. Pretty soon she and Pip had a nice crackling fire and Sam came over with his pots and pans and he began to get a stew started as merry peeled carrots. Strider came over with more logs for the fire setting them down silently he stooped down next to Darcy and offered her a little paper wrapped bundle , Darcy took it with a raised brow.

" Whats this?" she asked he said nothing just tilted his head towards the pot that bubbled away with Sam's stew. Curiously Darcy undid the twine on the paper bundle to find a small crusty loaf of bread and a hunk of sharp cheese. Extras to go with the stew it seemed pulling her little pocket knife out of the front pocket of her bag and began to slice the bread into thick pieces. As she finished up she had to smack Pips hand away as he tired to sneak a piece of cheese off the paper. Sam smiled asking Pip to get bowl as the stew was done and Pip almost fell over himself and Frodo to help. It seemed hobbits were robust eaters and Darcy had to keep an eye on them as she ate to keep her piece of bread if it was left alone for even a minute the hobbits would assume she was done and try to eat it. No wonder the geezer and Strider sat away from the hobbits it was a strategic move to keep their meals in tact. As the hobbits settled down for bed in there little bed rolls Darcy ended up picking twigs out of the way got as comfortable she could using her bag as pillow she was easily comfortable enough to doze off. Darcy woke up warm and cozy , confused she sat up slightly and realized someone covered her in there cloak. Since the geezer wore gray and she was pretty sure this one was black, and was too big for a hobbit not that Darcy was much taller than one the cloak was obviously striders. Sitting up fully she noted everyone but strider was asleep he was sitting on a rock about fifteen feet away. Looking up at the night sky smoking a small blunt looking thing they had weed in asgard? Darcy's bladder let it be known she had to pee like a race horse. So she pulled her taser out of her bag, standing keeping striders cloak around her she trudged off to find a bush.

"Lady Darcy?" a deep accented voice asked

"Nature calls, strider ." she said simply

" Aye, but don't go to far." He whispered after her, sighing Darcy found a bush got nature over with. And made sure to douse her hands in sanitizer she always carried with her. She headed back to her patch of dirt, but stopped next to striders rock.

"Thanks for the loan." She tugged the edge of his cloak.

"Think nothing of it my lady." he inclined his head , Darcy was still grateful as she settled into her spot wrapped in his cloak. Smiling men in asgard were much nicer than earth.

 _Hi Guys and Dolls, I know its been a long time since I've written, I've had a bad couple of months but I'm happy to add another chapter to this fun story. Thank you to all of you who left reviews they make me so happy, please leave more - Love Dizzy_


	4. The Shadow Creatures

_Hello Guys and Dolls as always I dont own anything everthing recognizable belongs to its respective owners. Rember i've never read the books so this story is loosely based off the movies I tired my best please be kind if I get some thing horriably wrong please tell - Dizzy_

Chapter four shadow Creatures

Early morning had Darcy digging through striders supply bag as he set the fire for breakfast. She squealed when she found rolled oats ,honey and what she hoped were raisins they looked like raisins but this was asgard they could be some alien berry.

" Strider?!" she sang as she dug for a pot , he looked up at her

" Oatmeal? and are these raisins?" She asked shaking the jar at him. He raised a brow at her and nodded she guessed to both questions and she went about setting up the pot. And getting the oatmeal going with plenty of honey since he didn't have any sugar. Once the oatmeal was bubbling away almost done Darcy added the raisins and some pecans she found and confirmed by asking Strider again which got her another odd look. He was toeing awake the hobbits the geezer had been gone since Darcy had woken up doing god knows what. pulling the pot of the fire strider came over with wooden bowls and helped her dish out oatmeal to the grumpy hobbits who of course started to gobble it up at the speed of light. Gandalf appeared out of no ware an accepted his bowl from Darcy

" This porridge smells lovely Lady Darcy." She smiled at him nodding she'd forgotten the ye old word for oatmeal was porridge. No wonder strider was looking at her like she was crazy she kept forgetting asgardians use ye old speak. Sam offered to wash the dishes and Darcy helped strider pack up the cart. Gandalf started to load up the hobbits, Frodo seemed more twitchy than normal whispering worriedly with Gandalf. Strider lifted Darcy into the cart when she was watching Frodo surprising the hell out of her

" What did I tell you about manhandling me!" She skwaked batting at Striders gloved hands. He actually just smiled at her putting up the carts tailgate and climbing onto his horse. They were making hella good time, the cart piratically trembled as they rocket through the forest. Darcy spent most of the ride joking with pip and merry and showing Sam how to play snap with some cards she had in her purse. Again Frodo stayed in the corner of the cart sullen and quite. Soon they left the forest and were shaking up mountainous terrain they got out of the cart and began to hike. Darcy knew she was really out of shape as she tried to keep up with the hobbits, strider was behind her helping her every now and then. They ended up at some watch tower strider had told them the name but Darcy couldn't pronounce it, what she did know was that they were stopping here for the night. And climbing up to it had Darcy's thighs and stomach burning she defiantly needed to get in shape no more just because cupcakes okay maybe only once a week. Strider and Gandalf were looking out at the terrain strider gave each of the hobbits a small sword and Darcy one as well hers looked brand new actually. Strider and Gandalf went to look around Darcy settled down with strider cloak and began to doze off, Frodo laid down close to her probably because it was windy as hell. She woke up to Frodo shouting

" Put it out you fools." she sat up and saw him stomping out a small fire then something shrieked ,Darcy scrambled to her knees

" What the fuck was that?" she asked as they looked over the edge o the tower and saw black shadowy things on horses Darcy didn't know what thy were but she pulled the sword off her hip, thanking Thor that said god taught her a few things not much but enough.

" Go!" Frodo shouted and they ran up to the higher part of the tower not before Darcy got her taser and a small stark designed defense item out of her purse. They stood back to back and Darcy whispered

"Anyone want to tell me what the hell is going on? Frodo?" No one said anything before a shadowy thing began to come through the side of the tower pulling out a wicked looking sword. He stepped forward the hobbits backed up and Darcy pulled whatever braveness she had. They couldn't fight she could well half assed but if she could help them she would. She stepped forward a bit more praying beyond hope she didn't get killed, it didn't help four more shadow creatures came out. She made sure use her own body as a shield. Sam rushed from Darcy's side and attacked them and got thrown aside Darcy kept herself in front of them .Because she heard pip say get in front of Frodo they were after him. Darcy held her own as one creature dropped his sword down and Darcy managed to parry, thank Thor she thought as she slammed her sword back push it forward some. But it threw her back and she landed on her back

"Run Frodo" she grit as she scrambled up to her feet as pip and merry got thrown as Frodo dropped his sword and scrambled back.

" You idiot run !" Darcy said as she threw the stark designed self defense ball which exploded out like lighting getting two of the creatures as Darcy charged forward and Frodo freaking disappeared and the shadow thing stabbed down at the air and Frodo reappeared screaming. As strider came jumping out all bad ass with a sword and a torch Darcy was super glad to see him because she knew she wasn't doing anything but pissing them off. Darcy kept fighting with strider as Sam ran to Frodo , and strider set two a flame and they began to Darcy ran to the hobbits as strider through the torch hitting one dead in the face as it burst into flames Darcy knelt next to Frodo

" You fucking idiot" she sobbed out ripping off her hoodie pushing it against his wound as Sam called for strider he picked up the dropped sword

" hes been stabbed by a mourgral blade. Its beyond my skill to heal he needs elvish medicine he scooped him up and rushed down just as Gandalf appeared.

" now you show up you old geezer!" she shrieked

* * *

 _Phew that was hard to write guys and dolls I kept going back to that seen in the movie and rewatcing which between me and you really pissed off my husband in the end babydoll took away the romote. Oh well this came out the way I wanted it too next time Darcy meets Arwin and freaks over Frodo. Thank you to those who reviewed they make me happier than a hippo in a tutu! Please cntinue to review love you guys and dolls- Dizzy_


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